Daddy, I love you, and all my life I have been striving not to disappoint you. I wish you made it easier for me by putting your love into words sometimes. I figured it out eventually, but it took me so long to realize that you asking me if school was good, was a summary of ; I love you; I missed you whiles you were away; I wish you never went away for this long period; I am so proud that you are working so hard; You make me so happy; You are the reason I work so hard; Seeing you succeed means more to me than you can ever imagine; I wish I could give you the whole world and not just what you need; You are the best daughter in the world and any man will be blessed to have you; You inspire me; I’m very grateful to God for you because you bring so much joy to my life.
From a Daughter’s heart.
Recently I was told of a father who refused to attend his sons’ school programs and all those extra activities that parents have to really sacrifice their time and money to be able to attend. He said his sons are even lucky he is in their lives and provide their basic needs and his reason was that his own father did nothing for him. From my own thinking, I hope to provide for my children what I did not receive because I would want them to have a better life.
We are celebrating fathers this weekend and I’d want us to look at the four types of fathers you may encounter. We celebrate all of them in the hope that the love we pour on them will encourage them to be the best they can be.
The Soldier Daddies –These fathers are great fathers, great providers who work hard to provide the needs of their family. They are just not emotionally available. The ones you refer to as ‘Sir’ and put your hands behind you when you are talking to them. They are great disciplinarians but there is not much expression of love to create the balanced environment the family needs to thrive. Most ‘Soldier Daddies’ were not exposed to affection from their fathers either and so had no first hand example. But a man who has received God’s unconditional marvelous love has no excuse of not having an example of what total expressive and executed love is. Dear ‘Soldier Daddy’, rise up and show your daughter what wholesome love really is so she can identify it when the time comes ; and the son to be able to exhibit it to his own family in future.
The Absentee Daddies – These fathers are always busy, working and travelling all the time and make time to ‘father’ only when it’s convenient for them. They try to make up for their absence by showering the family with lots and lots of material things. Fathers living abroad from their families come to mind when considering the ‘Absentee Daddies’. Dear ‘Absentee Daddy’, work is important and money is good and some circumstances may be beyond your control but we love you being present more than the gifts. Please make us priority.
The ‘ Mummy Will Come and Meet You’ Daddies – These fathers are over-compassionate and are unable to discipline their children as they ought to and shift their responsibility unto the mothers, mostly making the mothers look bad in the eyes of the children and allowing the children to have their way. To the ‘Mummy Will Come and Meet you Daddies’, we won’t say much but leave you with these two scriptures;
Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
Discipline your children, and they will give you peace;
they will bring you the delights you desire.
The Wholesome Daddies- These fathers are the all rounded great Daddies we all wish to have. They are not perfect but they have allowed the word of God and the Holy Spirit to guide them in this very difficult role of fatherhood. They provide, are emotionally available, have time for the family and serve as great role models to sons and good examples to daughters for what they should look out for in the future. Most of these Fathers did not have an example to look up to but have surrendered to the one who called them into this role and so are not afraid to be vulnerable in giving and receiving love.
I encourage all fathers and fathers to be to allow the Lord Jesus himself to make them the fathers He called them to be.